As Covid-19 restrictions have had a massive influence on the trend towards smaller weddings, it's inevitable that smaller weddings would also result in smaller bridal parties. However, even before Covid there was a trend towards having less bridesmaids and/or groomsmen, or perhaps none at all. So, how many people should you have in your bridal party (groomsmen/bridesmaids)? Do you have to have any? 
The only 'rules' around bridal parties is the statutory requirement that you must have two witnesses at your wedding, in addition to the Celebrant. That is why, during Covid lockdowns, the maximum number for weddings was set at 5 - the marrying couple, two witnesses, and Celebrant. It has been a tradition that the two witnesses who sign the legal documents are the best-man and chief bridesmaid, but it's only a tradition. Changes to the Marriage Act which allowed same-sex marriages also contributed in significant ways to how we celebrate marriages, including 'support-people' (after all, we can't have a 'bridal party' if there is no bride!). Here are some of the trends I'm seeing:

1. While large bridal parties are still popular, I'm seeing more weddings with only one or two people accompanying each of the marrying parties (whether bride and groom, or bride and bride, or groom and groom), or none at all. 
2. Gone are the days when on one side of the Celebrant stood an all-male group (the groom and groomsmen) and an all-female group on the other (bride and bridesmaids). This doesn't mean with same-sex weddings we're seeing all men, or all women, either. Most people have both male and female friends, and if a groom would like to have a female friend in his bridal party there is no good reason why she should stand with the bridesmaids on the bride's side, and vice versa.
3. I conducted a lovely ceremony where both the bride and groom had children from previous marriages (coincidentally they had the same number of children, roughly the same ages). The children stood on their respective sides and when it came time to ask "Who brings Sonia to be married to Mark?" Sonia's children answered in unison "We do!" and when I asked "Who brings Mark to be married to Sonia?" Mark's children answered "We do!" 
4.  On the subject of bridal parties I am sometimes asked about whether or not brides and grooms should give their support-people gifts, and, if so, what kind of gift is appropriate. Personally, I think being invited to play a role in a friend's wedding is gift enough! I've been best-man for a couple weddings and didn't expect a gift (and I don't think I was given one either), and I don't recall giving gifts to my four groomsmen either. I don't think it's expected, and it's another expense which can turn a happy occasion into a financial burden. 

Of course, I'm not suggesting that there's anything wrong with big wedding parties, and it's lovely to involve lots of friends in your big celebration. The fact that there is a trend towards smaller bridal parties, or none at all, is a reflection of the larger trend towards having uniquely personalised weddings. There is no right or wrong way to do your wedding. Your ceremony should reflect your personalities, and if that means giving special roles to a close group of friends, or involving all your guests as your 'support-people' then you should do whatever feels right to you.

Couples are re-thinking about how to make their "grand entry" - or whether to have one at all. Traditionally, the groom would arrive first and wait with his groomsmen for the bride and her bridesmaids to walk down the aisle, often escorted by the father-of-the-bride. But for all sorts of good reasons that doesn't work for many couples. Not all brides have a dad to walk them down the aisle, or they do but he's not the most appropriate person to accompany them for their big entry. We're now also seeing weddings with two brides, or two grooms, and they want to arrive together. So what are the trends?
I think the most memorable entry of any wedding I've attended was on a beach in Byron Bay. The bride arrived in a beautiful white gown, although barefooted (apparently it's difficult to walk on soft sand in high heels!) and made her way down the beach to the waiting guests. Most of the guests, however, looked quite concerned that the groom and groomsmen hadn't yet arrived. Had she been stood up on her big day?! Moments later the sound of a light plane was heard overhead and as heads turned skywards several skydivers left the aircraft and made their way with clockwork precision to the beach. The groom parachuted in to land at exactly the right spot beside his bride, followed by his groomsmen (it turns out they were all professional skydivers). They removed their parachutes, put on tuxedos and proceeded with the ceremony. The arrival of the groom even upstaged the wedding I attended where the groom arrived by helicopter!

Here are the latest trends that I'm seeing.

1. I'm seeing more and more brides making the grand walk with both parents, or none at all. I was recently the Celebrant at a beautiful wedding where the groom walked down the aisle first, accompanied by his best man with the groom's pet dog on a leash. After they took their places at the front the bride arrived with her bridesmaid who also had the bride's puppy on a leash. Tied around the neck of each puppy was a little box containing a wedding ring, so they took centre stage during the ceremony when I called for the ring-bearers to present the rings! I mentioned during the ceremony that the couple began their relationship by taking their puppies to the park together and these "puppy-dates" turned into a romance, and hence it was appropriate that the puppies should have a special role on the big day.
2. But what should you do for a wedding with two brides, or two grooms? I married one couple where the two brides arrived at the same time, and entered from different directions escorted by their mums, meeting in front of their guests. But it's not only same-sex couples who are finding creative ways for both of them to make a grand entry. Straight grooms are also being inspired to make an entry.
3. I've also been the Celebrant at weddings where the marrying couple have been the first to arrive, and they have greeted their guests as they arrive. This "non-entry" is a pleasant surprise for arriving guests and creates a celebratory atmosphere from the very start. Greeting the guests as they arrive may be an obvious choice for home-weddings, especially if the wedding is at the couple's own home, but I've seen it work just as well for a beach wedding.

So, think creatively about how you'd like to make your entry, if you'd like to do it separately or together, and if you'd both like to make a grand entrance, or none at all. If you'd like to do something different but are stuck for ideas, I'll make sure we begin at the beginning - with the entry - when we plan your ceremony together.

While Saturday is still the most popular day for weddings, there is a trend towards being married on a week-day instead.  There are a couple reasons for this:

• Wedding venues charge significantly higher prices for weekend weddings, so if you're looking to save some serious dollars, or working to a budget, then there are some good packages available for week-day weddings.
• With a trend towards smaller weddings there is also a shift to smaller venues and couples are choosing restaurants, parks and beaches, historic homes, and even the backyard as the location for both the ceremony and the reception. Mondays to Wednesdays are traditionally the quietest days for the restaurant industry, so you could almost certainly negotiate a great package for lunch or dinner if you book for one of these days. Many places will be so pleased to get extra business on their quiet days that they are likely to provide outstanding service.
• Since the pandemic began, with so many people working from home or having more flexible work-hours, it's easier than ever before to find a time during the week when your friends and family will be able to attend. Saturdays used to be the preferred day because that's when most people had a day off work, but that's all changed.
• With so many weddings planned for 2020 being postponed to 2021 due to the pandemic, many venues are already booked out on weekends, forcing couples to either wait another year or look for other options.

But it's not just about finding a more affordable option for your reception - although that is a significant factor for many couples opting for a week-day - you will probably find that photographers, videographers, musicians, DJs, florists and Celebrants also charge lower rates on their quiet days. You could save money all round.

Covid-19 has taught us a number of things, and possibly changed forever the way we celebrate. It has definitely taught us that we don't necessarily have to have a crowd in order to have a good time, and that people don't have to be physically present in order to join the party.  Although Covid-19 now seems to be well under control (is it too early to say 'eliminated'?!) - at least in Australia and New Zealand - during the months of lockdowns and restrictions on the sizes of gatherings we have all had to re-think how to 'meet up' with our friends and families in creative ways. For example, I've learned how to enjoy Friday-night-drinks-with-mates without having to leave my desk, thanks to Zoom. And I think I'm appreciating more the quality time with friends and family now that I can't see them as often, or in large groups.
In the initial stages of Covid-19 most couples were simply postponing their weddings but as the realities of isolation and restrictions set in we all began to think of new and creative ways to celebrate with a smaller group. I personally think it will change forever the way we do weddings, and definitely for the better. Here are just some of my initial observations:

• Live-streaming weddings is becoming much more common, whether you engage a professional or simply use smart phones. In fact, it's enabling couples to share their special day with even more people than they would have envisaged pre-Covid. For example, I recently 'attended' a friends wedding in the USA, from the comfort of my own home, without the expense of travelling thousands of kilometres.
• Celebrations are becoming less formal, and the actual ceremony for the exchange of vows is sometimes being incorporated into a single event rather than standing alone and separated from the reception. For example, imagine arriving at a friend's home, enjoying canapes and conversation with other guests as someone fires up the barbeque. The main topic of conversation is how the hosts met and the major steps in the journey which brought them to this moment. Then, just before the meal is ready to serve one of the guests (who is an authorised marriage celebrant) says a few words and invites the couple to make their vows to each other. The celebrant declares them to be married, and lunch is served! Toasts are made, all the guests contribute their stories and best wishes, gifts are opened, there is a huge amount of laughing, and everyone remembers the day as one of the best ever!
• Another bonus of smaller, less formal weddings is the massive savings. Lunch in a restaurant, or a backyard barbeque, can be just as special as a reception in a hugely expensive function venue. Imagine putting those savings towards some backyard landscaping or improvements to the house which will last much longer than the few hours of the reception, or towards a holiday or something which will make a big difference to your lives. But it's not just about savings - with smaller weddings you can re-direct your funds to things which are more important to you and improving the quality of the occasion. With less people you may now be able to afford a videographer to capture the memories, or a DJ, or some really nice food and drinks. Think about what you really want and not what you think is expected.

​Smaller weddings open up other possibilities as well, such as the time and day. That's another changing trend with weddings. More about that in a later post.